So I found a few poems that I wrote for Mrs. Pumphrey’s World Literature class freshman year of high school. It was when we were studying Chinese poetry, I think. There are pictures that go with them. I’ll put those up too. Anyway, I thought I’d share. I reminisce, you judge.
Worthless
Round pebbles are tossed into the mud,
splashing watery dirt outside the perfect brown.
Little waves spread out and soon fade.
The pebbles are forgotten as they drown.
Comments: I think this one’s a little emo. C’mon, drowning pebbles?
Double Lotus
While dark black clouds are
hovering overhead,
And raindrops start telling
their sad stories,
The double lotus shines
through the emptiness,
Bringing about the rays of
morning glories.
Comments: A bit of hope in a midst of emoness? And isn’t morning glory the name of its own flower? What was I thinking?
Nature’s Music
Friend, take a look there!
Crashing waves sing some lullabies.
The wind blows softly along.
Music made by their cries,
Music made by their sounds,
Played by the wind’s sighs,
And the fast running water
Are dissolving through their replies.
Comments: I kind of like this one. Crashing waves, running water, wind — a band?
Counting Branches
In the midst of snow,
Stands the beautiful grand tree,
While children count its branches,
And its leaves run free.
Comments: This one is really pretty! I like it.
Taste the Rainbow
How many shades does the rainbow have?
Only the birds know all the colors.
We workers look upward at the beauty
Like an arch showing its wondrous glamor.
On we work in the bountiful fields.
The rainbow gives the taste we savor.
How many shades does the rainbow have?
We workers count them as we labor,
As birds once have when they flew,
While we sing in a throaty quaver,
Working in the fields of many foods.
O! How the rainbow show its flavors!
Comments: Was I high on skittles when I wrote this one?
Oh my god, the ammunition!
I’ll start somewhere, finish elsewhere, and–if I’m lucky–I’ll do it fast enough that there’ll be a dry trail through the pool of blood I make; I’ll have left behind so powerful a wake.
Okay, I tease.
Poems one and two are just like you call them. The rest aren’t too bad. All of them are deliciously naive, in the same way that bad Mac ‘n’ Cheese still taste good because that just means the cheese is exceptionally pungent. This is no doubt tied to your having been a freshman at the time.
The big difference between you and me is that I have better sense than to share the poetry I wrote as a freshman. I’m leaning towards sharing some of the stuff I wrote on assignment as a sophomore. If you ask politely tomorrow, I might show you the one where Ronald McDonald sues the owners of his trademark, or even the one where the speaker is bitter because people are destroying nature.
Even if the Lotus poem is a bit emo, I do like the morning glories line–I think it hints at more flower imagery, even if it’s not the same type of flower. So I don’t think you should bash yourself too much for that line (just the emo-ness).
And the “Counting Branches” reminds me a bit of a Yoko Ono poem about counting clouds, and giving them names. It was shorter and more abrupt than yours.
I secretly like the image of pebbles drowning… but I think it should have a turn in an additional line or couplet where it turns out to be a wonderful, very-properly pebble thing to do.